From Brownmiller’s Femininity (1984)
From Brownmiller’s Femininity (1984)
“…lessons in the art of being feminine lay all around me and I absorbed them all: the fairy tales that were read to me at night, the brightly colored advertisements I pored over in magazines before I learned to decipher the words, the movies I saw, the comic books I hoarded, the radio soap operas I happily followed whenever I had to stay in bed with a cold. I loved being a little girl, or rather I loved being a fairy princess, for that was who I thought I was”
“As I passed through a stormy adolescence to a stormy maturity, femininity increasingly became an exasperation, a brilliant, subtle esthetic that was bafflingly inconsistent at the same time that it was minutely, demandingly concrete, a rigid code of appearance and behaviour defined by do’s and don’t-do’s that went against my rebellious grain.”
“Femininity was a challenge thrown down to the female sex, a challenge no proud, self-respecting young woman could afford to ignore, particularly one with enormous ambition that she nursed in secret, alternately feeding or starving its inchoate life in tremendous confusion.”
“Femininity, in essence, is a romantic sentiment, a nostalgic tradition of imposed limitations.”
“Femininity always demands more. It must constantly reassure its audience by a willing demonstration of difference, even when one does not exist in nature, or it must seize and embrace a natural variation and compose a rhapsodic symphony upon the notes.”
“To fail at the feminine difference is to appear not to care about men, and to risk the loss of their attention and approval.”
“The world smiles favorably on he feminine woman: [how the pun is nicely put, the world smiles from the benefits they acquire from a woman’s craze to fit into their definition of femininity] it extends little courtesies and minor privilege. Yet the nature of this competitive edge is ironic, at best, for one works at femininity by accepting restrictions, by limiting one’s sights, by choosing an indirect route, by scattering concentration…”
“The masculine principle [according to Brownmiller] is better understood as a driving ethos of superiority designed to inspire straightforward, confident success, while the feminine principle is composed of vulnerability, the need for protection, the formalities of compliance and the avoidance of conflict- in short, an appeal of dependence and the good will that gives the masculine principle its romantic validity and admiring applause.”
[Dependence as defined by Brownmiller is in the negative sense; as it could be in any materialistic and selfish community in which men do not assert their role as reliable breadwinners. Muslim women are not bird-brained weaklings; she is educated, physically-fit, and economically cared for; she may work if there is a need coming from either the society or herself, though her own needs should be taken cared of by an Islamic society which is characteristically un-individualistic and caring. Muslim men and society look after the welfare of Muslim women, and THIS does not render her into a useless bimbo]
[From her article, I do not see the relation of how men are guilty for all the aforementioned rules and restrictions imposed on women]
“Femininity pleases men because it makes them appear more masculine by contrast, and in truth, conferring an extra portion of unearned gender distinction on men and unchallenged space in which to breathe freely and feel stronger, wiser, more competent, is femininity’s special gift.”
“One could say that masculinity is often known to please women, but masculinity is known to please by displays of mastery and competence while femininity pleases by suggesting that these concerns, except in small matters, are beyond its intent.”
“…today she reflects both an economic and emotional dependency that is still considered ‘natural’, romantic and attractive”
“Large numbers of women- those with small children, those left high and dry after a mid-life divorce- need financial support. But even those who earn their own living share a universal need for connectedness (call it love, if you wish). As unprecedented numbers of men abandon their sexual interest in women, others, sensing opportunity, choose to demonstrate their interest through variety and a change in partners.”
“A sociological fact of the 1980s is that female competition for two scarce resources-men and jobs- is especially fierce.”
“…indulgence in the art of feminine illusion can be reassuring to a woman…”
so, what is your response?
